Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
