All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
