i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
