is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
