I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
