ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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