there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
