i think my tv is drunk
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pee on everything he values.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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