He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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