ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
