is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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