that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
