And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
