Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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