I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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