I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I deserve this hangover.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize