I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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