she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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