he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
