So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
