i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize