Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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