yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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