Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
