I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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