new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
