she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
