did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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