She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
