not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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