He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
