you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
