That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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