physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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