He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
My ass is underappreciated
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
