hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
