I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
