Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
