I want to make a zoo with you.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
