I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
