I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
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it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
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I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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