I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
