the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
