I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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