Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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