he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
