another moral hangover. fuck.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
