i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
