I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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