Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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