I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
