he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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