Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
