tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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