It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I'm really busy with my period
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