The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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